What the Heck am I Doing with My Life

Reflection. Not just a catchy song from Mulan, although now I’ll be singing it for the rest of the day…

giphy

This week has been a time of reflection on my internship. I still have about 5 weeks of work left, but I know they will fly by because this whole year has flown by. I can’t believe it’s already been nine months since I packed up and moved 1,000 miles from home.

I’m currently sitting in the coffee shop where I 100% said yes I want to work for Sojourn just 18 months ago. I remember it was a warm October day when I sat down with the three staff members who would later become my co-workers and friends and signed up for this crazy journey.

The past year has been hard, but soooo incredibly rewarding and fun! I had the opportunity to see California, meet new people, and learn so much. It was hard planning and fundraising, and I quickly wanted to go home and see my family, but I’m glad I stayed. God wanted me here.

He had a plan.

When it gets hard, I  remember coming across a picture that said “someone out there is counting on what God has called you to do” I knew I had to stay here. I knew that big things were gonna happen. I went into it thinking that I was gonna help people grow, but it ended up that I grew more than I ever thought I would.

I’m so so thankful for this experience, my friends, the students, and the Felkel family for opening their home to me. I’ve seen so many amazing things during my time here, and if you’re interested in hearing more about them, let’s grab some coffee because it’ll take a while.

During this whole process and especially now that my year is coming to a close, I’ve been wrestling with the question,

what the heck am I doing with my life?!

It’s been really tough struggling through this, so I naturally reached to scripture. There’s a verse that gets a lot of recognition when people are worried about the future, and I decided to break it down for y’all.

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Here’s the low down on this popular verse. This was part of a letter that Jeremiah wrote from God to the Israelites who were in exile in Babylon. God tells them in this letter that he will release them from captivity in 70 years and they are to love and serve God through all of this. The Israelites did not want to hear this. They wanted to be told that they were going to be freed imediately from their suffering, but God wanted to use them to help prosper the nation. A lot of people, including myself, have used this verse as a security blanket to basically say that God will release you from your hurt immediately. But we are told to prosper the area around us and to serve the Lord even when it’s hard.

I want to be told right now what I’ll be doing in ten years and where I’ll end up, but that’s not how it works. I have to serve God through this confusing time in my life, and God will take care of me through it all.

I hope that whatever thing you’re struggling with, that you take this verse in context and serve God through the mess. It’s hard, trust me, I know, but God will take care of you. It may not be right this second, but He will hold your hand through it all, I promise.

Love,

Caitlin

p.s. if you’re a student or a RI friend reading this, I hope you know how much love I have in my heart for you and how thankful I am that God placed you in my life.

 

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